Saddened

I know a lot of people in the China adoption community have seen the LA Times article stating that Chinese Officials are stealing babies for foreign adoption. Todd and I read the article for the first time the other night and my heart is broken. When we chose to adopt, we opened our heart and chose to do this for exactly what it is...a choice. I'll be honest with you, we don't know if we can have our own children or not...we are opening our hearts and our home to adoption for a child in the world that needs a warm, loving, caring home. We are lucky enough to be able to provide that to a child in need. We did our reserach...domestic adoption wasn't a choice for us, we looked at a number of countries and we chose China for their ethical reputation. Now, we read and learn this....it has given us something to think about. We are one step away from completing our homestudy packet so that we may open our lives, our home and our hearts to our social worker over the next 90 days. We are scared, we are nervous and we are excited. Todd and I are very private people and the thought of sharing my most intimate details about our financial situation, our family life and our own relationship with a stranger will be challenging. But this challenge is something we are up for. Reading the news article has made us stop and think....are we really making the right decision?! After I read the article Thursday evening, I laid in bed and cried as Todd held me. I know in my heart that our daughter is in China...the next morning I opened the closet in the room that will be the nursery and I looked at the small amount of clothes I have bought for her, the toys we have collected and the adoption books that some of our closest friends have shared with us....this is what we are meant to do. We will continue with the adoption process. Yes, we are scared that our daughter will be 'stolen' and we may not have the answers for her...but we are remembering why we are doing this. To provide a home for a child in need....a child in an orphange without a family is a child in need. We have made a promise, even from the beginning to help our daughter find her parents should she wish to be connected with them...and that is something that I promise to this day to do for her. When we travel to China, I promise to research everything I can to answer all the possible questions she may have one day. That is something that I feel I will owe our daughter and her biological parents. I don't want to feel we are contributing to the program of babies being stolen...but those babies also need to be saved. We may choose to have our own child one day...but right now this is still the path we are travelling down....the journey to China.